Fifteen tips on being unsociable and avoiding unwanted correspondence

1. Stare away into a vacuum. There’s always something entertaining happening in that
vacuum and it needs your undivided attention.
2. Master a blank expression especially when staring into the vacuum or directly at
anyone.
3. Never laugh or smile in social gatherings or ever.
4. Be a miser with your words, use one-word responses and add plenty of grunts and
guttural sounds to your vocabulary.
5. Believe every male is a rapist.
6. Never show emotions, especially obvious ones like happiness, surprise, or sadness.
These may serve as conversation starters and you don’t want that.
7. Don’t necessarily avoid all eye contact. If the person is obviously determined to
make contact with your pupils, give it to them. Stare them down and continue to
stare. If they say something, don’t respond just keep staring.
8. Crushing on someone? Don’t even bother. They don’t want you.
9. Fine you can’t help your crush, these eyes you must definitely avoid.
10. Use up all your tech gadgets, phones, iPods, even a damn calculator can help,
after all the measly remains of your bank account isn’t going to check itself.
Anything with words u can pretend to read is also helpful, even your last grocery
receipt that you just randomly found in your purse.
11. “I don’t know” is a very good answer for almost every question you’re asked.
To make it seem less harsh (if u even care) you can substitute for “not sure”
12. Always pretend to listen, nods and grunts are helpful for this.
13. The less you move your body or your face the better, they’re all watching you,
judging you, trying to study you remember that.
14. Paranoia is your friend.
15. Refuse all food or drinks. Do not let them see you eat.